Always Being Right: Gearing Up for Intellectual Battle
We’ve all been there before. Someone says something, perhaps in line with a larger discussion, or maybe just off the cuff, and it strikes you – they’re wrong and you know the correct answer. Happily, you provide them with more accurate information, but instead of acknowledging it, they double down on their fallacious beliefs.
In this situation, one of the two of you (or even both of you) is struggling with a cognitive distortion called “always being right”. This goes far beyond being a “know it all”, as those individuals generally base their arguments on facts and when presented with more accurate facts, will revise their opinion. In the world of people suffering from this cognitive distortion, being wrong is simply not possible… but it can be addressed with cognitive behavioral therapy.
I’m Always Right
Determining the presence of this distortion can be tricky, particularly when it comes to the rise of misinformation and polarized political stances. Someone has to be wrong in the argument, don’t they? Yes, someone is right and someone is wrong (or they’re both somewhere in a shade of gray on the scale of right/wrong). However, that is not really what this is about.
This cognitive distortion has nothing to do with the actual accuracy of the information/stance/belief. Instead, it is the inability to recognize that something you believe could be wrong. Simply put, in these instances, everything you believe is always right. The beliefs of others are always wrong – usually the result of mistaken beliefs.
It does not stop with the unshakeable belief that you are correct. You will go to any lengths necessary to defend your opinion and attempt to persuade the other person that yours is the correct view. If you have ever witnessed two or more people arguing in the comments on an online news article or social media post long beyond the point that most would have decided to call it quits, you have seen this distortion in action.
Beyond the Verbal Argument
Always being right does not present itself only in verbal arguments. It can also show up as behaviors. For instance, perfectionists often fall into this area, as do those struggling with imposter syndrome. Anxiety and depression are also frequently connected to this cognitive distortion.
How to Combat the Problem
As with many other cognitive distortions, the key to overcoming this one is to pause and breathe. Ask yourself several questions:
Is it possible that my opinion is incorrect?
Does it really matter if I “win” the argument?
Is the other person actually wrong? Can I see the logic in their position?
Is my desire to be right outweighing my regard for someone else’s feelings?
Look for opportunities to grow and learn new things. Realize that being “right” isn’t really all that important in many situations. Try to give yourself some leeway, too – everyone makes mistakes and it is always possible that you are in the wrong. Being right is not the most important thing in life.