Thinking about switching to biweekly therapy, it might sound convenient, but here's why weekly sessions might really matter.

Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco and I'm gonna help you understand why weekly therapy is so important.

So first off, it builds momentum. Weekly sessions keep you from losing progress between appointments.

Next, you stay emotionally connected. It's easier to work through things when you're still fresh.

It reinforces accountability, weekly check-in, support steady growth, and follow through.

Less frequent therapy can work, but usually only after you've made consistent progress and already have those strong coping tools in place.

Not sure how often you should meet? Reach out to Therapy Now SF, and we can help you find the rhythm that best supports real change.

Are you feeling drained and exhausted after work every day? This could be toxic. Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas, a psychologist in San Francisco, and I'm gonna help you recognize the red flags of a toxic work environment.

So let's start with chronic negativity. If complaining and fear dominate the culture, it is gonna take a huge toll on your wellbeing.

Next is poor boundaries. If you're expected to always be available and then guilted when you push back. This is a problem.

Another one is undermining or manipulation. So when there's things like credit stealing or passive aggression, or even gaslighting, these are really serious signs.

And lastly, your body does know. So constant tension, dread before work and burnout are really red flags that you shouldn't ignore.

If your toxic work environment is affecting your mental health, therapy Now SF can help you get clarity and offer support.

Do you feel like nothing you do at work is ever good enough and you're feeling burnt out?

Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco and I'm gonna help you understand perfectionism and how it fuels work stress, and what you can do about it.

So high standards are exhausting. Perfectionism pushes you to perform at an unsustainable level every day, all the time.

You often have a fear of mistakes, which keeps you stuck. You might overwork to avoid failure or avoid tasks altogether.

You don't have to be perfect to be effective. Letting go of perfection means allowing yourself to grow.

Therapy will help you reset. We work together to replace pressure with perspective so you can thrive without the burning out.

If work stress is tied to perfectionism for you, Therapy Now SF can help you shift your mindset and build much healthier patterns.

Do you ever blurt something out in anger and then instantly regret it? Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas, a psychologist in San Francisco, and I'm gonna show you how to pause and stay in control when anger flares up.

So first thing, name it early. So notice those physical signs, the tight jaw, the fast heartbeat, maybe a clenched fist, and that will help you before you explode.

Next, you wanna take a break. So even 30 seconds away from the moment can help you respond and not react.

Next, you're gonna wanna ground yourself, so a slow breath. A cold splash of water or even touching something solid can help interrupt that spiral.

And lastly, revisit it when you're calm so you don't have to resolve everything mid- argument. It's okay to say, listen, I need a moment. If anger is hurting your relationships, Therapy Now SF can help you understand your triggers and respond with intention.

Do you keep getting pulled back into a toxic relationship? This might explain why.

Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas, a psychologist in San Francisco, and I'm gonna walk you through the cycle of narcissistic abuse and how to start breaking free.

So first off, love bombing. So that starts with intense praise, attention, connection, but it's too much and it's too fast.

Next, there's devaluation. The subtle jabs begin. So that looks like criticism, withdrawal, or shifting blame.

Next is discarding and return, they pull away or lash out, and then reel back when you try to leave.

Breaking free starts with awareness. So naming this pattern helps you stop blaming yourself and start reclaiming your power.

If this cycle sounds familiar to you, Therapy Now SF can support you in setting boundaries, rebuilding trust in yourself and moving forward.

Are you feeling overwhelmed? This one minute breathing technique can help you reset fast.

Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas, a psychologist in San Francisco. Box breathing is a simple and powerful way to calm your nervous system. It uses four equal parts. Inhale, then hold, exhale, then hold again, each for four seconds. And this helps you regulate stress and bring you back to the present. Let's do it together

So do this three to four more cycles, and that's gonna be about 60 to 90 seconds and that's it. Even one minute can make a huge difference. Save this for next time when you feel like you need to reset. And if you'd like more ways to manage stress and anxiety, follow along here at TherapyNowSF.

Struggling to manage your feelings? You can't change what you can't name. So let's start there.

Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco, and I'm gonna show you why naming your emotions is one of the most powerful steps towards feeling better.

Naming brings clarity. Saying things like, I feel anxious or I feel hurt, will give your brain a place to start.

What it does is it softens the intensity, so research shows that labeling emotions can lower their power over you. It stops spirals, so instead of reacting to confusion, you can respond to what you're actually feeling.

Lastly, it builds emotional intelligence. So over time, you'll get better at recognizing and working through those complex feelings.

If you want help developing emotional clarity and resilience Therapy Now SF can help you build those tools and we'll start from wherever you are.

Do you constantly overthink your relationship? You're not alone.

Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco, and I'm gonna help you understand relationship anxiety and how best to manage it.

So it often comes from fear of rejection or abandonment. Even in stable relationships, anxiety can twist small moments into really big doubts.

You might overanalyze texts the tone or even time apart. This can create tension and emotional exhaustion.

Building trust starts with self-awareness. Notice when your anxiety is leading and not reality.

Therapy helps you develop secure patterns. You can learn to tolerate uncertainty without spiraling.

If relationship anxiety is affecting your peace of mind Therapy Now SF can help you feel more secure, both with yourself and with others.

Ever feel like someone's twisting your reality? That could be gaslighting. Narcissists don't just argue, they actually rewrite the story. Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco and I'm gonna help you recognize narcissistic gaslighting and how to protect yourself.

Gaslighting makes you doubt yourself. Narcissists use this to confuse control and shift blame. Phrases like you're too sensitive or that never happened, are red flags. They're meant to erase your experience. It damages your self-trust. Over time, you may stop believing your own memory or feelings.

Therapy can help you reconnect to your reality. We work to rebuild self-confidence and learn how to spot manipulation early. If you've ever experienced gaslighting, Therapy Now SF can help you trust yourself again and set strong and healthy boundaries.

Is it confidence or is it narcissism? Some people might seem self-assured, but are they crossing the line? Let's break it down.

Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco and I'm gonna help you tell the difference between healthy confidence and narcissism.

So confidence uplifts others. A confident person feels secure and helps others feel secure too.

Now, a narcissists, they seek control. Narcissists crave admiration, and often dismiss or devalue others.

Confidence is grounded. It comes from self-awareness and not this need to impress. Narcissism masks insecurity. What looks like arrogance is often a defense against deep self-doubt and a fear of vulnerability.

Therapy sharpens your radar. We can explore how these traits show up in your relationships and help you set boundaries when needed.

Wanna better understand the difference between confidence and narcissism? Therapy Now SF can help you navigate relationships with clarity.

Is your workplace toxic? Here are the red flags to watch out for.

Poor communication and lack of transparency. There's a high turnover and low morale at your work. You notice there's a lot of micromanagement and lack of respect. And then there's unrealistic workloads, which leads to burnout.

So how does this affect you? It increases your anxiety. It increases your stress. and exhaustion, you probably feel undervalued and emotionally drained.

So what can you do? You can set boundaries. You can prioritize your self care, document toxic behavior if needed, and then consider looking for a healthier work environment.

If you're struggling with work stress and you feel like it's too much, Therapy Now SF can help you navigate your toxic workplace and protect your mental health.

Can a narcissist really change? I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a clinical psychologist in San Francisco, California. And here's what you need to know. Can therapy really work for narcissists? Let's talk about the reality.

Narcissists can only really truly change when they recognize their behavior and they want to change. There has to be motivation there. Many resist therapy because they don't see themselves as the problem.

So what can therapy do and what can therapy not do? It can help narcissists develop self awareness. But often deep change is rare. It can teach relationship partners how to set boundaries.

How do you protect yourself? You've got to manage expectations and don't assume they will change. You need to set clear emotional and physical boundaries. And lastly, you need to prioritize your own mental health.

If you're dealing with a narcissist, Therapy Now SF can help you manage and navigate these relationships and set boundaries for your peace of mind.

What if your anger isn't really anger. My name is Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a clinical psychologist in San Francisco, California, and let's unpack what's underneath that anger.

Anger is often a mask. So here's what could be really going on. Anger is considered a secondary emotion. It often covers up deeper feelings like hurt, which are things like feeling rejected, ignored, or disrespected. It often covers up a feeling, a secondary emotion like fear. Anxiety is about losing control or uncertainty. And lastly, it can be a secondary emotion for stress and overwhelm and burnout can feel and can manifest as frustration or irritability.

So how do we recognize what's beneath the anger? Ask yourself, what else am I feeling right now? Notice any physical sensations such as tightness in your chest, which may signal anxiety not just anger. Give yourself time before reacting and really it might mean taking a deep breath.

What are some healthier ways to express emotions? You can journal or talk it out, physical movement like walking or stretching or going to the gym and things like mindfulness to process emotions without judgment.

If your anger feels overwhelming, Therapy Now SF can help you explore what's underneath and manage the emotions in a healthier way.

Are you feeling anxious? I'm going to tell you these quick techniques to calm down fast. I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a clinical psychologist in San Francisco, California, and here are some quick techniques for you.

So, a grounding exercise. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 method, which is, you name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. Next one is some breath works. So try box breathing. You're going to inhale for four seconds. Hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four, repeat.

Next is visualization. Imagine a safe and calming place. Is this the beach? Is this the forest? Is this somewhere in your home? Engage in your senses. What does it look, smell, and feel like? Close your eyes while you do this.

Then we have progressive muscle relaxation, tense and release each muscle group from head to toe. And you're going to want to do that for three seconds. release each time.

Do you need help managing anxiety? Therapy Now SF can give you tools for long term relief. Reach out today.

Let's talk about imposter syndrome. Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco, California. So a lot of us struggle with this. it is this feeling usually at work that we have not earned our success.

We often think our success at work is attributed to luck or external factors or other people.

We avoid new challenges out of this fear of failing.

And we feel like we need to work twice as hard just to prove ourselves.

So let's break that cycle. Challenge that negative self talk.

Such things as, would you say these things to a friend?

Keep a wins journal to remind yourself of accomplishments. I personally write them down in my notes app, so it's accessible, it's easy, and I can do it right away.

And then you're going to want to seek support from mentors or colleagues or even a therapist.

Lastly, reframe your mistakes as learning experiences. They are not proof of failure, they are just ways that you can improve for the next time.

If you're still struggling with imposter syndrome, it's a really tough one to get around. Please reach out to Therapy Now SF. We can help you build your confidence, overcome self doubt, and figure out tips and tricks and coping so that way you can stop not giving yourself the credit you deserve and feeling like you actually are a success.

Is social media making you more narcissistic? I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco, California. Let's talk about it.

So do you ever feel like social media is all about likes and followers and validation? Well, here's why. Social media, it does encourage self promotion, and it does focus on image obsession over real connection.

That like button, it's a dopamine driven validation, and it makes us crave more attention. So it's not totally your fault, it's the brain taking over. So things like filters and staged posts and highlight reels, they create this unrealistic self expectation. And, These narcissistic behaviors online include prioritizing followers over friendships, seek constant validation, and have a lack of empathy in online interactions.

So how do you avoid this trap? You're going to have to limit your screen time, take social media breaks, follow authentic content, focus on real life relationships over this digital approval.

If you're having a hard time doing this and you notice social media is taking over your life and it's taking over how you feel, you're feeling anxious, depressed after you're on, social media, reach out to Therapy Now SF. We can help you.

Are you looking for a therapist near you?

I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco, California. Let me help you figure this out.

So if you're in California, you can see anybody in California through video or phone. And if you are wanting somebody in person, then obviously you're going to want to do a shorter search that is just in your zip code.

What are the things that you're looking for in a therapist?

Number one when you talk to them for that initial phone consult, do I feel comfortable? Baseline. Do I feel like I can open up to them? Do I feel like I can be vulnerable with them, build a relationship with them? Do I feel safe with them?

Number two, can they work with what I'm coming in with? Is that general anxiety? Is that a relationship challenge? Is that work stress? Is that trauma? If it's something a little bit more specific, say OCD or something like that. You really want to make sure that is their wheelhouse.

Next is referrals. Have I heard about somebody through a friend, a colleague, a family member? Or maybe I'm just doing a Google search and see who comes up and I'm looking at bios and who feels like a good fit to me.

Next is, if this is important to you, similar identities. Those identities might be similar ethnic background, cultural background, sexuality background, religious background, gender background.

So those are the main things you're going to want to look for. The biggest one, do I feel comfortable with them? Do I feel like I can open up with them? If the answer is yes, make that first appointment, check it out. You're never stuck with anybody. You can always switch therapists after a few sessions, but give it a few sessions and then go from there.

Did you know narcissism and empathy are on a spectrum? And here's what that means for relationships. I'm a psychologist in San Francisco at Therapy Now SF, and I can help you understand this and how to deal with it.

So there's narcissism, there's empathy, and it's on a spectrum. It means varying levels of self focus and varying levels of emotional awareness.

Narcissists key struggle:

• They prioritize their needs

• And making emotional connection is really hard

• Narcissists show signs of low empathy

• They dismiss other people's emotions

• They make everything about them

• And they are inconsistent in how they care about you

Coping tips for dealing with narcissists:

• Set boundaries

• Don't rely on their validation

• Seek support for your own emotional well being

Are you dealing with a narcissist? Protect your peace and reach out to Therapy Now SF.

Alright let's talk about the narcissistic parent and the long term effects and healing strategies.

What are the traits of a narcissistic parent? It's someone that needs a lot of control. Often they use manipulation or guilt or fear to control a child's decisions.

Another characteristic is they often lack empathy. And so they can be invalidating to a child's feelings and needs or just even ignore those feelings and needs altogether. together.

And then, love is conditional. And so offering love is really approval based. And when a child meets certain expectations, often that are put on by the parent, then that's when love is given. And then there's often high expectations and perfectionism placed on a child. So these unrealistic demands and again for a child to perform and achieve in a certain way.

A parent that's narcissistic will do a lot of projection and blame, and so they'll shift the blame onto their child for their problems or the, even the failures within the family.

And lastly the parent often needs admiration. And so they can need admiration from others and then they can want their child to have the admiration as well. And then that can be a little tricky too, because then there can be jealousy around the admiration.

Effects of Growing Up with a Narcissistic Parent

So what are the long term effects of growing up with a narcissistic parent? As you can imagine this is a really challenging experience that a lot of people go through. And so the effects are someone that has a narcissistic parent often then has some low self esteem. They're constantly now critical of themselves. Those criticisms that their parents gave them, they now often take on themselves. They often feel unworthy.

Often someone will then also have people pleasing tendencies. When love was conditional, you're seeking approval from others. And then as an adult, you then often people pleased to get that same love.

Someone can also then have a challenging time setting boundaries. Saying no in relationships is really hard.

Often someone can develop anxiety and depression. They're used to just chronic stress of being around a narcissistic parent, and so they often have a lot of emotional dysregulation.

And lastly there can be attachment issues. So they can have challenging time forming healthy relationships and that's often due to fear of abandonment or having distrust.

How to Recognize if You Had a Narcissistic Parent

So how do you recognize if you've had a narcissistic parent? So if you're experiencing a lot of signs of some lingering emotional effects of self doubt and excessive self criticism, an inability to prioritize your needs, you never feel good enough, no matter how much you achieve, that may have been an experience that you've had.

Healing Strategies for Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

So let's move into healing strategies for adult children of narcissistic parents. Let's start with self compassion. You want to treat yourself with kindness and really challenge those self critical thoughts. Cause remember often those self critical thoughts are just you now repeating what that narcissistic parent may have said to you, and they become your own voice.

You're going to want to be able to set boundaries. So that's both emotional and physical boundaries especially, with your narcissistic parent, but also with everybody in your life. So that includes coworkers, friends, everybody, other family members.

Often people will seek therapy to address childhood wounds around this, and that can be really helpful to just reframe negative beliefs.

You're going to want to do a lot of inner child work and really connect with your inner child and recognizing that child was deprived of love and support and being able to try to provide that for yourself.

And lastly, you're going to want to try to build your self esteem. And so that can look like celebrating those small wins, having affirmations for yourself, surrounding yourself around people that are positive to you, that are supportive, that can recognize your many strengths and let you know about them.

Navigating the Relationship with a Narcissistic Parent

And so how do you navigate the relationship with a narcissistic parent? There's got to be a lot of acceptance versus a lot of this idea of changing the parent. It's pretty hard to change somebody who's narcissistic and to change a narcissistic parent. And so the sooner you can come to acceptance around who your parent is, the better off you're going to be.

And then another strategy is possibly limiting contact with that parent. And whether that means less contact, or in some cases, if the relationship is just too unhealthy, maybe it's no contact.

And then lastly, really enforcing boundaries. So having assertive communication, being very clear about what you need and just doing what you can to protect your mental well being.

And so it's really common if you've had a narcissistic parent that these wounds are very deep. And you can do a lot to prioritize your self care and seek support and practice self compassion. And often it's just very helpful to see a third party, a therapist, to really unpack the trauma that a parent like this can put on a child.

And that's something that at Therapy Now SF, we work with a lot of clients that have maybe difficult family dynamics or a narcissistic parent. And that can be something that we can help you with to really process what you've been through and then also develop new coping skills, new strategies to both deal with that parent and to deal with yourself, and how you communicate with yourself and how you manage yourself and just developing all those self compassionate techniques.

All right, so it's that time of year. It's New Year's resolutions time. And instead of just talking about that in general, let's talk about healthy New Year's resolutions with self compassion.

It's really easy to put all this pressure on ourselves to achieve perfection and then to be really self critical when we don't meet those goals. And so that's why I want to talk about a self compassionate way to have goals that are realistic and that you can try to sort of meet.

Why Most Resolutions Fail

So why do most resolutions fail? So sort of what I'm saying is the unrealistic aspect. They're overly ambitious. And then you burn out right away or within time. And then immediately you're disappointed. Another reason is this all or nothing thinking. Say it's, you want to work out three days a week and one week you don't do it. And you're like ah done. I failed. It's over. As opposed to ah, you know what, this week it didn't happen. Let's try again for next week. And so the last piece of this is this lack of flexibility. When you don't have flexibility, you're not able to adjust your goals when circumstances change.

The Role of Self-Compassion in Goal-Setting

So what's the role of self compassion in goal setting?

You are treating yourself with kindness. You're being more understanding. You're being more patient. You are recognizing that mistakes and setbacks are a part of reaching your goals and you make adjustments as you go. And it's without self judgment.

And I think a big piece around self compassion is that we think that if we're not critical of ourselves, then the goals won't happen. And what the research actually shows is that when we're self compassionate, we are able to meet goals easier. We are able to handle adversity, all of those things. So self compassion, there's so much research out there at this point that shows that it actually is the more effective way to manage just about everything. But in this case, we're talking about goals.

Steps to Setting Healthy, Compassionate Resolutions

So some steps to healthy compassionate goal setting ideas. You're going to start with reflection. So you're reviewing the past year with curiosity and not criticism. And trying to figure out What is it that you're wanting to focus on?

And so you're going to be setting behavior based goals. Instead of things like lose 20 pounds, it can be, I want to practice yoga twice a week. So again, it's specific and it's also a behavior as opposed to just what the outcome is.

You're going to want to break goals into small steps. This is, I think the most key part of this, you're breaking it down into micro goals. So just like the example I just gave you, it looks like, what does a day look like? As opposed to the end goal. What does a week look like? And twice a week I work out. Those types of things.

So then you're going to want to prioritize self care as you're going through all of this. And so something that looks like is, a lot of us work all day and we don't take a break. And so maybe it's 20 minutes outside to take a walk or just hits your face with some sunlight.

And lastly, you're going to want to create flexible goals. So allow yourself to have adjustments for goals. And when different life circumstances happen, that you can be flexible and shift and go with it. And so you're not so rigid about what it needs to look like.

Self-Compassion Strategies for Staying on Track

So here's some self compassionate strategies for staying on track. You're going to want to talk to yourself like you talk to a friend. So avoid those harsh self criticisms, especially after setbacks.

You're going to want to celebrate the small wins. This part is huge. No matter how small it is. So I'm focusing a lot on the weight one, because that's what a lot of people focus on for the new year, but it's also really easy to talk about it in a behavioral way. Maybe if you're trying to do the workout thing, and you want to go to the gym for an hour and a half, but you didn't today, you went and walked for 20 minutes. That's huge. Instead of doing nothing, you walked for 20 minutes. So no matter how small it is, you're really celebrating those small wins.

And then you're going to want to practice mindfulness. So when there is a setback, instead of spiraling into this failure thinking, you're going to want to really try to stay present and focus on what you've already done and what else you can do in the future.

And lastly to be flexible. So if the goal doesn't serve you anymore, or it needs to look different, it's okay to adjust it and change it.

So here's some examples of self compassionate goals. Instead of wanting to, quote unquote, be more productive, you could say, to yourself, try to take regular breaks to avoid burnout. Or try to celebrate the small wins during the day. Instead of saying, I want to be more positive. It can look like I want to practice gratitude daily. I want to practice self compassion. Just things like that.

And if you're finding it challenging to do this and do it on your own, which is totally understandable, that's when it can be really helpful to reach out to a therapist and talk about what these goals are. The therapist can help you be more self compassionate. They can with you celebrate those small wins and remind you that perfection is not the goal and it's not going to be the key to your growth.

At Therapy Now SF that's what our therapists are great at doing. We are a warm and compassionate group of individuals. And so we're really used to helping people set goals that are realistic and then getting to a place of achieving those goals.