Reassurance Seeking: Why You Keep Asking and Still Don’t Feel Better

We think that a way to calm our anxiety is to seek reassurance, but the actuality is, it's feeding it and making it 10 times worse. Hi, I'm Dr. Andrea Zorbas, a psychologist from Therapy Now SF. Reassurance can feel soothing in the moment, but when it becomes a habit, it often makes anxiety stronger. So let's talk about why that happens and what can help instead.

So first off, reassurance brings short-term relief. So a quick answer, a validation, it will lower our anxiety briefly, but the reality is the calm doesn't last.

Next, anxiety learns to ask again. So each time you seek reassurance, your brain learns that doubt requires external confirmation.

Checking, keeps uncertainty alive. So when you text or Google, or ask others. It reinforces the idea that you can't trust yourself.

Lastly, build internal reassurance instead. So by pausing, grounding, and tolerating uncertainty, it helps anxiety lose its grip over time.

If reassurance seeking feels compulsive or exhausting, try contacting Therapy Now SF. Therapy can help you build confidence in your own judgment and break the anxiety cycle.